Why Thailand?

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

Drugs, the illegal and recreational kind, are available in Thailand: marijuana, ecstasy, heroin and “yaba” (a very addictive methamphetamine/caffeine cocktail that’s become a major problem).

Do not mess with drugs because:

• The penalties throughout Asia are VERY harsh (as in lengthy prison terms and even the death penalty). You don’t want to get caught. Extra judicial executions of Thai drug dealers occur with no apologies offered.
• You really don’t want to know what the inside of a Thai prison looks like (Think: truly appalling third world conditions).
• Thais don’t want, and will make examples of, foreigners coming to their country to partake of these substances (Thais are already embarrassed enough with being viewed as the world’s brothel).
• The person who just sold you something may turn around and have you arrested for a reward. Why? (more…)

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

Why do guys end up buying drinks for unattractive girls they have no interest in while the girl they really want sits alone in the corner?

(Honest, this happens way more than you would like to believe.)

The problem is that guys do not exercise their power.

A lot of men have it in their heads that if any woman gives them the time of day they need to be polite and let the woman call the shots.

It doesn’t work that way in Asia so leave the Western mindset behind. (more…)

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

The “morons” who pay more than 1000 baht long time don’t have to do any running around.

They walk, not run, into any gogo bar in town, find Miss Tonight, negotiate an agreeable number in a simple process where the punter is not getting completely skinned and the girl doesn’t have to face God only knows what sort of inner shame by auctioning herself off to the lowest bidder.

The guys who live to have no regrets (and know what the going rates are) head off with any girl they want in tow at any time of night. (more…)

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

While drinking in a Pattaya beer bar one night, I met a young, farm fresh 19-year-old who claimed it was her first night (Yeah, don’t they all). Reinforcing this claim however, was the fact that we needed the translation services of the other girls since she spoke so little English.

Despite limited formal communication, we still got on quite well (think: squeals of delight). She was the picture of the proverbial girl-next-door: enthusiastic with no pretensions. (more…)

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

Every so often a Reader asks, “Great eBook, but why aren’t there any pictures in it?”

It’s true, there are no pictures in the Why Thailand Guide.

There are millions of websites to find pictures, such as this one

But there are a couple problems:

First, rather than making yet another picture site, you’ll gain more by having the tools to help make your time in Thailand the best it can be.

Second, they’re pictures.

And looking at pictures misses the point. The whole idea of the Guide is for you to go where the girls are and to have a good time. (Of course, you could make your own pictures, but that’s another topic.)

(more…)

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

Soi 6 is Pattaya’s brothel street. It’s a whoremonger’s wet dream (and that’s saying something). Take a walk of lust.

Countless women of all shapes and all willing. Be prepared to be catcalled and virtually attacked by the bargirls lining the street. It’s a veritable gauntlet, especially at night. (Why can’t it be like this back home?)

Soi 6 makes Walking Street look like the Vatican, if such a thing is possible.

Yes, this is the street where not only can you get blowjobs on the premises; you can get them in full view of other patrons (an exhibitionist’s fantasy). (more…)

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

Cobra Gold is an annual joint military exercise held between Thai and American forces. The US Navy comes to Pattaya.

First
This exercise generally starts late April and usually runs through most of May.

However, no one knows exactly when the navy will arrive, including the sailors themselves. Anyone who tells you differently is WRONG. The way the navy works is to keep everyone in the dark about where they are or when they will be at any location.

There is a plan BUT it gets changed all the time and without notice. Of the many rumors that they are coming on such and such a date 99% are wrong. You are better off flipping a coin rather than listening to rumors.

Second
It makes little difference except around Walking Street when they are in town. If a carrier group arrives there will be about 6,000 sailors. At any one time no more than half are allowed on shore so that means 3,000 in town. There are 3,000 bars in Pattaya so that’s one extra person per bar. So who cares.

In reality though, the sailors tend to hang around Walking Street and Soi Pattayaland 2. You’d be lucky to see a single sailor in Soi 8 or North Pattaya.

Third
During Cobra Gold no more than 200 guys get leave on any one day. The impact on Pattaya is ZERO. Usually for the last three days in late May a larger number will be given leave. Maybe a thousand or so. Impact on Pattaya - negligible.

Remember, Pattaya has a huge overcapacity of bars and ladies.

Plus, when rumors of the navy’s imminent arrival surface, thousands of girls trek down from Bangkok. That means the ratio of men to women probably improves even if the navy does turn up. If the navy doesn’t show up - which is the more common scenario - the ratio goes through the roof.

Pattaya: Big enough for all of us http://www.whythailand.net

(Courtesy of http://www.whythailand.net)

The weekend rolls around. Doug is coming to town from Bangkok so I arrange to hook up with him. We meet in the hotel lobby and walk to the Sabai Land soapy massage parlor on Soi 3.

We enter and find a table. Doug has a beer - along with his main squeeze (from this place) that he’s known for years.

We all make small talk as I’m checking out the talent in the fish bowl. The girls are dressed in long gowns. They’re beautiful, but I’m uncomfortable with the meat market format. Besides, I prefer long-time as I like the GFE. I beg off saying maybe another time.

Doug and I leave (without a massage session) and decide to hit the Kitten gogo on Second road near Stardice disco. Kitten is a nice low-key gogo where I originally met Doug. It seems this is yet another favorite haunt of his (he actually had a piece of this bar but fortunately sold it sometime back).

We stay at Kitten for about two or three hours. Several times we’re the only customers (this is on a Saturday night). Buying a bar is an excellent way to make a small fortune out of a big one.

We’re having a great time with a bunch of girls sitting, singing, dancing, and drinking, buying many lady drinks and raffle tickets (I won a t-shirt).

Doug is with two of his long-time favorites. Doug’s philosophy when faced with a choice between two girls is simply to say, “Both.” (more…)

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The Tears Were Real

I’m sitting at the hotel pool. It’s noon on an overcast day and, although hidden, the sun is still strong.

There’s more than a few unaware hotel guests basking in the sun, not fully appreciating that in about 30 minutes their pasty-white asses are going to be transformed into a painful lobster-red sunburn. Oh well, it’s their holiday.

I’m reflecting on the bargirl, “Joy”, I met the previous night. We played the usual bar games bantering with one another. I suggested going to another bar to play pool. We do so and play until nearly 2 am. I’m getting tired at that point so I ask if she wants to go to my room. She’s a little surprised as she thought I only wanted to play pool but readily accepts. Well, this is odd but let’s see what happens.

On the way to the room, Joy asks if I’m a sadist. First time I’ve ever been asked that. She’s not joking. I hope this is not going to get weird. I assure her that no, I only do software and sadism is somewhat outside my area of expertise. Unfortunately, her English isn’t quite good enough to get the joke.

We’re in the room talking (Joy’s English is good enough to converse which is why I barfined her) and the ever-present cell phone rings (Hey, it’s only 2 am). (more…)

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The Dynamic Duo: Neena and Duke

The previous night I barfined a gogo girl and took her to XZyte disco. She didn’t dance. She just sat on her ass. We go to the hotel and she goes starfish. I told her it just wasn’t working out and wanted her to leave. I paid her for short time even though we didn’t even boomsing. I just wanted her to be gone.

No more gogo girls. They’re just too jaded and too used to getting something for little to no effort. (Yeah, right. Like I’m really going to follow this rule.)

So later, I’m walking around sois 7/8 at loose ends shooting pool at various beer bars. It’s somewhat late (midnight) and I’m tired. I’m thinking of just packing it in for the night. I pass a beer bar where two girls are calling out to me. I ignore them as I’m hungry and want to get something from a nearby vendor.

I stop. I have an impromptu heart-to-heart talk with myself: “Steve, why are you here in Thailand? You just passed up a gorgeous little honey wearing a tight, stretch lycra body suit with her boobs damn near falling out. Are you crazy?” I decide I’m not crazy, promptly do a 180, and walk back to the bar. (more…)